Let’s chat about the increase in angry customers. Why is it happening, and what can we do about it?
Why are angry customers on the rise?
To begin, social stress has increased over the last two to three years due to the pandemic and the general life upheaval we’ve all experienced as a result. Many of us carry a hidden or underlying ticking stress bomb. When we reach a certain point of pressure, we could go off at the slightest provocation. I’m sure we can relate to those seasons in our life where we’ve had to be strong and resilient. Perhaps we didn’t even realise how much we had bottled up, until a situation or person inadvertently flicked a switch and we exploded. It can be just as much a shock to us as it is to those around us when this happens.
It’s obvious that this social stress increase is correlated with the dramatic spike in customer abuse in recent years. In particular, the increase in angry customers seems to belong to an aggressive behaviour category we call the expressive.
The expressive aggressive is an emotional outburst. Think of it like a volcanic eruption, or a phrase we sometimes use, ‘they’ve gone nuclear’. So it’s always overt. It’s an outward aggression with outbursts and rants that seek to attack and shoot down its targets. It can be quite intimidating when someone launches at you in this way; it’s very dramatic and theatrical.
This hasn’t been isolated to a particular industry, but instead has been experienced across the entire service sector, from retail and health to corporate products and services. It’s caused enormous amounts of stress for frontline staff who’ve been inundated with these behaviours as people attempt to access services. None of this reasoning excuses aggression, of course. However, it can certainly help us understand why there’s been such a spike.
How to respond to the expressive aggressive customer type
The good news is the expressive aggressor is an easier customer aggression type to address. Let’s have a look at how we do that.
- The expressive needs to be heard. As this type is primarily triggered by stress and pent-up emotion, the emotion needs to be released. Trying to redirect the behaviour too early will only end up creating further blow-ups. Instead, focus on helping them feel heard and validated. Listening is like releasing the pressure valve on their anger.
- Use the Ferber method. This is a popular method for sleep training with children, famously used for comedic purpose in the ‘Meet The Fockers’ movie. It’s essentially based around letting the child cry for permitted amounts of time before giving them reassurance. This is designed to teach them to calm themselves down and fall asleep, or as this method calls it, ‘self-soothe’. Applied to an angry customer, you allow space for them to rant. Then, rather than attempting to control their emotion, seek to understand and ask questions to direct the conversation. This helps them to vent and start to self-soothe. You’re supporting their need to release emotions and get them away from that heightened state and into a calm state.
- Acknowledge their issue. It’s only when customers move into a calm state that we can direct them positively. Acknowledge their issue and emotion before providing direction or a solution. This communicates to them that they’ve been heard, and they’re more likely to listen to you as a result. Once they’ve reached this state, it’s not uncommon for the expressive to apologise or say something like, “Look, I’m really sorry. I know it’s not your fault. You’re just doing your job.”
Throughout this process, it’s important to remember they’re not usually aggressive people. It’s a stress response and they are simply having an emotional reaction to a situation.